FADE IN Mount Olympus. Stock footage from "Motherhood." We can hear the gods arguing inside. DISSOLVE TO The Great Hall. All of the gods have gathered around Zeus' throne, arguing. The gods we notice: Artemis, Athena, Discord, Aphrodite, and Hephaestus. Hera stands by Zeus' throne, looking off to the side. She's on her best peaceful and virtuous behavior. Zeus seems frustrated as everyone is yelling at him all at once. He looks as if he is going to explode. ZEUS (roaring): Thunder sounds on cue as all of the gods fall silent and back off in fear. ZEUS (sighing): Artemis steps forward--the red-haired goddess dressed in a golden warrior outfit with a quiver at her back. ARTEMIS (sighs): There are gasps of shock. Hera alone looks unperturbed. ATHENA: The camera pans over to an innocent-looking Aphrodite. DISCORD (steps forward): ARTEMIS (gasps in shock): DISCORD (angry): There's a collective "ohhhh"--obviously, Artemis wasn't the only god expecting something else. DISCORD (continues): Pan to Aphrodite, whose mouth hangs open in outrage. APHRODITE: ZEUS (angry): HEPHAESTUS: The other gods chew on this for a moment. ARTEMIS: HERA (peacefully): DISCORD (rolling her eyes): ATHENA (imperturbably): DISCORD: APHRODITE (giggles): A quick succession of close-ups of all the gods turning to look at Aphrodite, each of them with a whooshing sound (Discord's sounds more like a screech). Only Hera remains unperturbed, still staring ahead peacefully. In the complete silence that falls, one can hear crickets chirping. APHRODITE (cringes and smiles sheepishly): DISCORD (moving right along): Suddenly, blue light flashes in the middle of the hall, and we hear Ares' trademark materializing roar. All the gods turn toward the sound. The camera zooms in on Xena as she materializes, a self-assured smile on her face. She looks towards Discord. XENA: DISCORD (looks daggers at Xena): APHRODITE: The other gods laugh. DISCORD (hisses at Aphrodite): In true villain style, Discord vanishes in a dull blue light, with a sound that resembles a cat screeching. Athena steps forward and looks over Xena's armor with what seems like a touch of envy. ATHENA: Xena is obviously about to speak. Then she stops. Pan over to Zeus's throne. The other gods are standing in front of it, all waiting for an answer. Even Hera, finally, turns to look at Xena. Off to the side behind Zeus' throne, Aphrodite is waving her hands frantically in a criss-cross "no" motion and shaking her head with a pleading look. Out of the corner of her eye, Zeus catches the motion and turns. Aphrodite puts on her best innocent look, weaving her fingers through her long blond curls. Back on Xena. XENA (a little hesitantly): Close-up on Xena--it's her trademark steely gaze, except that there's a bit of white glow in her eyes. Pan to the gods standing together in front of Zeus' throne, looking somewhat alarmed. Aphrodite gives Xena a tiny appreciative wave. CUT TO The campsite. The camera pans around to show Gabrielle and Haimon sitting on a log reading a scroll, and then to show Ares sitting on a tree stump polishing his sword while Darion looks on curiously. DARION: ARES: DARION: ARES (getting frustrated): DARION: ARES (losing his patience): The camera pans over to Gabrielle and Haimon sitting on the log. Haimon folds the scroll and looks tenderly at Gabrielle. HAIMON: GABRIELLE: He puts his hands over hers and they gaze tenderly at each other. VOICE (off-camera): Startled, Gabrielle turns to see a villager running into their camp. He is a short man with a small beard. He is out of breath. VILLAGER (exhausted): Gabrielle gets up. In the background, we see Darion still pestering Ares. GABRIELLE: VILLAGER (taken aback): HAIMON (cocks an eyebrow at her): Gabrielle leans down and picks up her sais off the ground. GABRIELLE (placing sais in boots): VILLAGER (concerned): Gabrielle gives him "the look"--not exactly as powerful as Xena's look but still good. GABRIELLE (sarcastically): ARES (looks up and points at himself in shock): HAIMON: The villager looks suspiciously from Gabrielle to Ares and back. GABRIELLE: ARES: The villager looks insulted. GABRIELLE: Darion jumps up in excitement. DARION: They roll around on the ground as Ares struggles helplessly. ARES (in a muffled voice): Gabrielle shakes her head and grins. ARES: GABRIELLE (comes up to them, chuckling): Haimon doesn't look very amused but Gabrielle doesn't notice as she pulls Darion off Ares, who gets to his feet, dusting himself off. VILLAGER (to Gabrielle): Gabrielle pauses and thinks for a moment. GABRIELLE: The villager gives Ares a skeptical look while Ares glares daggers at Gabrielle. VILLAGER: ARES (outraged): Gabrielle shakes her head, smiling. DARION (snickers): Ares raises a finger at him and glares, as if about to say something, but evidently can't think of anything to say and lowers his hand. Gabrielle squats down in front of Darion, strokes his hair and kisses his cheek. GABRIELLE: DARION: Gabrielle looks very moved. She ruffles Darion's hair and gets up to find herself looking at Haimon. GABRIELLE: HAIMON (a little bitterly): GABRIELLE: HAIMON (nods): VILLAGER (calls out impatiently): GABRIELLE: VILLAGER (nods toward Ares, who is putting on his swordbelt): ARES (turns toward him, striking a heroic pose with his hand on the hilt of his sword): CUT TO Countryside. The villager walks along a worn out path as Gabrielle and Ares follow behind him. ARES: GABRIELLE: ARES: GABRIELLE (chuckles): ARES (shoots her a murderous glance): GABRIELLE (defensive): ARES: GABRIELLE: ARES: GABRIELLE: ARES (chuckles): Gabrielle is momentarily speechless with outrage. Finally, she regains the gift of speech. GABRIELLE (indignantly): ARES (rolls his eyes): GABRIELLE (narrows her eyes at him): ARES (bristles): GABRIELLE (gives him a nasty look): They stop and glare at each other. VILLAGER (off-camera): Ares and Gabrielle look at each other and sigh. GABRIELLE: ARES (grumbles): They turn and start walking, looking away from each other. CUT TO Ares' halls on Olympus (as seen in "God Fearing Child"). Weapons and armor hang on the walls along with skulls and gruesome war murals. Xena materializes in a flash of blue light and begins walking along the wall examining the place. XENA (sarcastically): She suddenly straightens up, as if listening to something. Then she walks off, flashing away in mid-stride. CUT TO A temple of Ares. Torches are circling a large stone altar in the center. A king wearing purple robes and a small crown, with a short gray beard, stands at the altar holding a beautiful, richly jeweled ceremonial sword. He lays it down on the altar. KING (reverently): Blue light flares by the side of the altar. The king trails off, terrified; the sword drops from his hands and clatters down on the altar. When the light and smoke clears, Xena is standing there. KING (stammering): XENA (curtly): The king looks at her in astonishment, then nods doubtfully. XENA (continues): KING: He kneels, folding his hands in supplication. Xena sighs, then leans forward, puts her hands on the altar and addresses him as if he were a little kid. XENA: The king looks at her in shock. KING NIKANDROS (stammers disbelievingly): There is a flash of golden light and Aphrodite materializes next to the king, invisible to him. She gives Xena a friendly wave. APHRODITE: XENA: KING NIKANDROS (disconcerted): Xena silences him with a gesture. He looks at her, puzzled. APHRODITE: Aphrodite dematerializes. The camera zooms in on Xena's face, as she slowly bites her lips and thinks for a moment. She looks up at the king, her eyes narrowing. XENA: KING NIKANDROS: XENA (looks at him probingly): KING NIKANDROS: XENA: KING NIKANDROS: Xena closes her eyes, as if surveying something she sees in her mind's eye. Then she opens her eyes again. XENA: KING NIKANDROS (joyfully): XENA (reluctantly): A close-up on Xena's face. KING NIKANDROS (off-camera): Xena looks stern, her gaze inscrutable. CUT TO Village. Your typical ancient farm village, the Xenaverse version. All of the villagers have gathered in the village square, busy fixing up a large banner on two poles. There is Greek lettering on the banner--two words in huge letters, followed by two words in much smaller letters and, between them, several other words that are crossed out. Subtitles appear on the screen: All of the villagers seem excited about the arrival of the Warrior Princess. Some women do their best impressions of Xena's war cry, though it sounds more like someone yodeling while choking on their own saliva. Zoom in on a middle-aged man in a dark blue caftan and an embroidered cap standing in front of the crowd. He appears to be the village chief. CHIEF (loudly): The villagers all begin to sing. Picture N'SYNC, Britney Spears, William Hung from American Idol, your local church choir, and the Furies (if they ever decided to sing) all singing at the same time. In other words, it's bad. VILLAGERS (singing): Thankfully, we don't get to here to the rest of the song because the villager who went to get Xena comes into the square. VILLAGER: Everyone turns around excitedly (with squeaky sound effects). Then, the excitement on their faces quickly fades to disappointment. The camera pulls around to Ares and Gabrielle entering the square. Pan to the banner, then back to Ares and Gabrielle. Ares smirks while Gabrielle fumes visibly. GABRIELLE: Gabrielle then notices the villagers' disappointed faces. There is an awkward silence, broken by a young boy's voice. BOY (shouting): VILLAGER (scratches his head): The crowd heaves a disappointed sigh, followed by loud comments: VILLAGERS: The camera zooms in on Gabrielle, as she smirks a bit. GABRIELLE: OFF-CAMERA VOICE: CHIEF (to villagers): VOICE (laughing): The camera pulls around as a group of about dozen bandits approach the village square. For some reason they actually look more like pirates than bandits, wearing colorful but patched-up clothes and bandannas. Some of them have eye patches, and one even has a peg leg and a hook for a hand. The leader of this band has a long, scraggly black beard and an eye patch. From the looks of it, he has been in a lot of fights, though it doesn't seem like he has ever attempted to fight plaque and gingivitis. LEADER OF BANDITS (growling): CHIEF (terrified): LEADER OF BANDITS (irritated): The village chief cowers. Gabrielle and Ares step in front of him, standing face to face with Gregogonlashimus and his band of merry men. GABRIELLE: GREGOGONLASHIMUS (laughing wickedly): The men all laugh, their laughs of course being their death wish. The camera pulls back on Ares as he draws his sword. ARES (grinning): Gabrielle draws her sais. GABRIELLE (to Gregon-whatshisface): The bandits draw their swords and charge forward with a fierce yell. One of their faces meets Gabrielle's fist, sending the man hard to the ground. Gabrielle then whips around and trips another bandit; he hits the ground with a very loud thud. Kicking, punching and using her sais to deflect their blows, Gabrielle fights back against the bandits (who, as usual, are polite enough to attack only one or two at a time). The camera pulls around to Ares as he turns around and finds himself facing the bandit with the hook and peg leg. ARES (rolls his eyes): PEG LEGGED BANDIT (to Ares, speaking, for some reason, with an Irish accent): As their swords clash, he swings his hook at Ares, nearly slashing his face, and uses his peg leg to kick him hard in the shin. ARES (winces in pain): PEG LEGGED BANDIT (still in Irish accent): Their swords clash. Ares deflects his blows, then kicks hard at his good leg and sends the bandit tumbling on the ground. PEG LEGGED BANDIT (screaming): Another bandit charges Ares, as Ares swings around and their swords clash. After a quick fight Ares knocks the sword out of his hand. The camera pans over the villagers as they watch the fight in awe and excitement. CHIEF (calling out to villagers): A little boy steps out in front of the crowd so he can get a better view. Pan to Ares--he knocks down the bandit he was fighting and raises his sword over him, about to skewer the man. Pan to the little boy, who is suddenly grabbed by one of the bandits. The bandit scoops up the boy, cackling evilly. BANDIT: The boy screams in terror. Pan to Ares, still holding his sword over the cowering bandit. He turns at the boy's scream. Pan to Gabrielle--looks over her shoulder as she sees the bandit taking off with the little boy. But she can do nothing as two other bandits attacks her and block her way. The boy's mother sees him being carried off and starts screaming as well. MOTHER: GABRIELLE (shouts): Ares rushes toward the bandit holding the boy. He does a spectacular flip over the heads of two other bandits (of course, we can tell that it's a stunt double who doesn't look much like Ares, but no one cares) and lands right in front of the bandit in a threatening stance, holding out his sword. BANDIT (holds the screaming, squirming boy in front of him as a shield): Ares distracts the bandit with a false move, getting him to move the boy to the left; then he deftly slashes at the bandit's right arm and at the same time quickly grabs the boy and sets him down on the ground. Roaring with pain and frustration, the bandit charges at him. Ares fights in a manner worthy of Xena, protecting the boy as he fights. He easily disarms the bandit and knocks him down to his knees, then raises his sword to kill him. The bandit blubbers in terror. Ares pauses and glances at the little boy, who is staring at him fearfully. Then, instead of running the bandit through, he knocks him out cold with the hilt of his sword. BOY (claps): The little boy's mother runs up and tearfully sweeps him up in her arms, kissing him. Then she turns to Ares. MOTHER: The boy, in his mother's arm, reaches over, hugs Ares and kisses him on the cheek. Ares is taken back at first; then he cautiously pats the boy on the shoulder, rather the way he first petted Horace in "Old Ares Had a Farm." ARES: He looks around. The camera follows his stare to see Gabrielle knocking down another bandit. Growling angrily, the bandit advances toward her. She twirls her sais as she watches him approach, his sword bared. He attacks. Gabrielle deflects his blade with her sais, stomps hard on his foot, and then delivers a series of kicks to his midsection that makes him stagger back, stupefied. A hand taps him on the shoulder. Gregogonlashimus turns around and sees Ares. In the next moment Ares' fist flies toward his face. The powerful blow sends the bandit flying through the air, flailing and screaming. He lands right in front of a pig rooting about on the edge of the square. Moaning, he lifts his head to see the pig sniffing at him. His head drops and he closes his eyes, whimpering. VILLAGERS (cheering): Ares cringes at the name but seems to be enjoying the praise. As the cheers die down, the village chief speaks up. CHIEF: Ares turns to look at some villagers hoisting up a new banner into the air. The Greek lettering is translated by subtitles: GABRIELLE (shakes her head): CUT TO Field. Xena is seen standing on a tree, much like Ares was in "Eternal Bonds", the wind is softly blowing back her hair. We hear the sounds of swords clashing. She looks down... The camera moves down to show a battle going on in the field below her. At one side we see King Nikandros leading his troops. They are giving it all they have. The king is shouting orders from his horse as his men are charging forward. Their swords clash, both sides look evenly matched. The camera zooms in on Xena. She is watching the battle with obvious relish almost as if it were a spectacle. An overhead shot of the battlefield. King Nikandros' army is now being pushed back, many of its soldiers falling under enemy onslaught. One of the enemy soldiers charges at one of King Nikandros' warriors and slashes him across the chest. The warrior falls to the ground, screaming out. WARRIOR (crying out): Other warriors start crying out Xena's name. The camera zooms back in on Xena as she closes her eyes and then starts slowly to lift her hands. Her hands begin to glow with a red light. She opens her eyes. They are glowing a bright white. The camera pulls back in on the troops as they suddenly seem to be recharged with energy. KING NIKANDROS (shouts): With a roar, the army charges forward, colliding with the other side. Montage of shots: An overhead shot of the other army retreating. The king's warriors begin to cheer. KING NIKANDROS (raises his sword over his head): His warriors pick up a chant of "Xena! Xena! Xena!" Up on the tree, Xena flashes away, only to materialize in the battlefield before the troops. King Nikandros dismounts from his horse and drops on his knees. KING NIKANDROS: The king's warriors cheer, raising their swords in the air. Close-up on Xena as she smiles, taking in the chant. The camera pulls out to show a wide shot of the warriors gathered around Xena and hailing the goddess as we: FADE OUT END OF ACT TWO |