FADE IN

Medium close-up of Gabrielle still sitting in the water, her mouth still open. A long silence. Argo neighs in alarm.

XENA:
      Gabrielle... (Off Gabrielle's shocked silence, worriedly.) Gabrielle. (Still getting no answer, Xena walks up to Gabrielle and holds out a hand to her) Come on, Gabrielle, get up!

Gabrielle finally closes her mouth, takes Xena's hand and gets up. Her skirt is dripping with water but she is so shocked she barely notices.

GABRIELLE:
     What happened to you? (nervously) Okay, okay...I get it...Ares gave you a new outfit as a present. Okay--I can't believe you would let him pick out your clothes, but--I can get used to this. And--he zapped you down here, right?

XENA (sighs):
     Wrong.

GABRIELLE:
     Then who did?

XENA (takes a deep breath):
     Gabrielle--I'm--a goddess.

GABRIELLE:
     A goddess? (laughs) Xena, come on.

XENA:
     You want me to show you?

She straightens up, throwing her head back slightly. Blue light flares up around her, then fades. Gabrielle cocks her head skeptically.

XENA:
     Hold on...this takes some practice.

She tries again; this time the light flares up and she vanishes, then reappears with a "whoosh" and a splash up to her waist in the lake.

As Gabrielle gapes at her, she comes out of the water; the water rolls off her and she's completely dry. She looks at Gabrielle, then holds out her hand toward Gabrielle with a somewhat uncertain look and concentrates, furrowing her brow. There's a slight whooshing sound as we see a wave of light blue light emanates from her hand. Gabrielle gives a start.

GABRIELLE:
     What are you doing?

XENA:
     Drying you off.

GABRIELLE:
     Oh. (looks herself over--she is now dry) I guess your powers have their uses... (fully taking in the situation, she stares at Xena in horror) By the heavens, Xena...how did this happen?

XENA:
      I'm--

DARION (off-camera, interrupting her):
     Wow, Xena! What a cool outfit!

Xena and Gabrielle turn. Darion is sprinting toward them, followed by Haimon.

HAIMON:
     Hello, Xena. That certainly looks--different. (to Gabrielle) Breakfast's ready.

GABRIELLE (looks at Haimon uncertainly, not quite knowing how to tell him):
     Haimon...something has happened.

HAIMON (puzzled and slightly worried):
     What?

XENA (sighs):
     I'm-- (stumbles a little, then blurts out quickly) I'm a goddess.

HAIMON (looks disconcerted, then chuckles):
     Sorry, could you repeat that? For a second there I thought you said you were a goddess.

GABRIELLE:
     She did. Uh, she is.

DARION:
     A goddess? Wow!

HAIMON (testy):
     Look, if this is your idea of a joke--

XENA (irritated):
     Do I have to prove this to everyone?

On the word "everyone," she shoots a fireball out of her hand, setting fire to a patch of grass; Gabrielle runs over to stamp out the fire and turns indignantly to Xena.

GABRIELLE:
     This is the first thing you're going to do with the powers of a god? Start forest fires?

Pan to Haimon and Darion, who gape at Xena with identical open-mouthed expressions on their faces. Then Darion sprints toward her and starts jumping up and down.

DARION:
     Xena's a goddess! Xena's a goddess! (calms down a little) Please, Xena, show me some more tricks! Pleeeeeeeze!

GABRIELLE (holds out a hand to stop him):
     Darion, hold on...first, we need to figure out--

DARION (runs up to Xena and tugs on her skirt):
     Come on, Xena--I want to see some tricks!

HAIMON (comes over and scoops up Darion):
     Hey. We'll have some tricks later, okay? Right now, we need to find out what happened to Xena.

DARION (puzzled):
     You're saying it like it's a bad thing.

GABRIELLE:
     Well--it's--complicated.

DARION (sighs):
     Okay, okay.

Haimon puts him down, ruffling his hair. Darion walks off, picks up a stick and starts running around doing pretend combat moves, using the stick sometimes as a staff and sometimes as a sword.

HAIMON (shakes his head slowly):
     I have to say--things never get boring around you two.

XENA (shrugs):
     Look--all I know is, I went to sleep--

GABRIELLE:
     Were you with, uh--? (she glances uncomfortably at Darion as he races past her, using the stick as a sword to thrust and parry)

XENA (a bit edgy):
     No--no, truth is, we--had a bit of a fight last night. So I left the temple and went to sleep in a forest clearing. And then when I woke up--I was wearing this-- (points at her new outfit) and I just felt--different. It was like...I felt this--overwhelming power just--coursing through me. (Turns to Gabrielle) It was like when I used the power of the Ring... (Gabrielle lowers her eyes) ...only much, much stronger. And I still feel it, all the time.

GABRIELLE (mutters to herself):
     That is how I feel every moment of every day of my life...

HAIMON and XENA (stare at her in shock):
     What?

GABRIELLE (shakes head):
     Nothing. Just something--Ares said to me once... (trails off)

Xena looks away uncomfortably, obviously considering the possibility that Ares is responsible for her transformation. In the background, Darion can be seen running around using the stick as a staff.

GABRIELLE:
     You think Ares--? (pause) Does he even have that kind of power?

XENA (sighs):
     Well...I suppose he could have slipped some ambrosia into my food--

GABRIELLE:
     You really think he would do that?

XENA (lowers her head and then looks up again, anguished):
     That way, he could be with me for eternity. It's something he's always wanted. (looks up sharply) But--I just don't believe he would do that.

GABRIELLE:
     I don't think he would. Xena, I think he--respects your decisions too much.

XENA (grins):
     And besides, he knows that as a goddess, I would really kick his ass for pulling this kind of stunt.

GABRIELLE:
     Why don't you get him here and find out?

XENA (nods):
     Good idea. (She turns away from Gabrielle and raises her voice) Ares! I need to talk to you. (no answer) Ares, dammit--this isn't the time for games.

Still nothing. Xena lets out a frustrated sigh.

HAIMON:
      Maybe he's busy.

Xena throws her head back and shouts.

XENA:
     Aaaaareeees!!!!!

This time her voice comes out as a roar that shatters the air like an explosion, making a flock of birds fly up from trees. We see a quick succession of shots of rabbits and squirrels scattering and startled fish leaping out of the water. Gabrielle winces and puts her hands over her ears.

DARION (stops doing the combat moves and stares at Xena admiringly):
     Whoa.

HAIMON:
     Well, if Ares didn't hear that, he must be really busy.

XENA (under her breath, grumpily):
     Starting wars, probably.

Darion runs up to Xena.

DARION:
     Xena--could you do that again? Please? That was awesome.

GABRIELLE (hastily):
     Not unless your powers include curing headaches.

DARION:
     All right--then do that disappearing thing!

XENA:
     All right. Let's see if I can do better this time.

Gabrielle and Haimon stand back to give her some room, Gabrielle protectively pulling Haimon back with her and shielding him with her arm.

Xena stands very straight and throws her head back, closing her eyes for a moment and then opening them. Azure light begins to flare up around her but then quickly dissipates into nothing. Xena looks annoyed.

DARION (disappointed):
      Hey, I thought you were going to do it just like Ares does!

GABRIELLE:
     Look, Ares has had lots of practice at this. He's been a god for thousands of years.

Xena gives her a mock version of "the look," then tries again. This time, the light flares up and starts to fade but then brightens and shoots up from Xena's feet to her head. She vanishes. Darion laughs and claps his hands.

Haimon and Gabrielle look around as moments go by but Xena does not reappear.

DARION (his expression turns worried):
     Uh-oh. Maybe she got lost...or stuck or something!

XENA (off-camera):
     Have a little faith in me, will ya?

Gabrielle, Haimon and Darion turn to find Xena standing under a tree beside the lake. Xena then vanishes and reappears in a flash beside Gabrielle, by the water's edge.

XENA:
     I think I'm getting the hang of it now.

GABRIELLE:
     I hope you don't get too used to it!

XENA:
     Don't worry, I won't. We'll just find Ares and get to the bottom of this--and get this fixed.

DARION (disappointed):
      Why?

GABRIELLE:
     Because it's just not who Xena is, sweetie.

DARION (philosophically):
      Well, it is now. (he looks at Xena and his face brightens) Hey--before you get, uh, fixed, can you shoot some more fireballs?

GABRIELLE (worriedly):
      Look, before we blow up any more things, can we go have breakfast?

HAIMON:
     Good idea. It's probably all cold by now.

DARION (excited):
     Maybe Xena can use her powers to heat it up!

Xena rolls her eyes, slightly exasperated.

XENA:
     Funny, I don't feel hungry at all.

GABRIELLE:
     Of course not. You're a goddess! (sarcastic) I hope you excuse us if we mere mortals still have to eat.

CUT TO

Xena, Gabrielle, Haimon and Darion come out into the clearing where the campsite is (Gabrielle and Haimon leading the horses). At the edge of the clearing they stop and stare in shock.

Pan to Ares, sitting by what's left of the fire and enthusiastically devouring the fish in the pan.

XENA and GABRIELLE:
      Ares?

Ares looks up.

DARION (excited):
     Hey! Ares!

ARES (his speech slurred because his mouth is full):
     Hey. I hope you-- (noticing Xena's outfit, he stops and swallows) Whoa. Where'd you pick that up? You look good.

XENA (guardedly):
     I thought you might know something about that.

ARES (genuinely puzzled):
     Who, me? I don't do clothes. Though if I had to pick something out for you...yeah, it'd probably be something like this. (he pops another piece of fish in his mouth)

GABRIELLE (suspiciously):
     What are you doing here?

ARES (his mouth full):
     Well--I just came across your camp and--

GABRIELLE (suddenly struck by horrified realization):
     You ate our breakfast!

ARES (nonchalantly finishes the last of the fish):
     Oh yeah. It's pretty good.

GABRIELLE (shocked and upset):
     That was meant for three!

ARES (sets aside the now-empty frying pan):
     Three what? Three small children?

GABRIELLE (speechless):
     Oooh--

In the meantime, Xena looks over Ares, slowly realizing something.

XENA:
     You're mortal.

ARES:
     It shows, huh?

Gabrielle and Haimon look shocked.

DARION:
     Wow. This is just getting more interesting.

ARES:
     Look, I have no idea what happened, but--

Gabrielle's eyes light up.

GABRIELLE (raises her finger):
     Wait! I think I know.

XENA and ARES:
     You do?

GABRIELLE:
     Ares is mortal...

ARES (sarcastic):
     You're brilliant.

GABRIELLE (ignoring him):
     ...and Xena is a goddess.

ARES (shocked):
     Say what?

Xena raises her hands and between them, creates an electrical charge of blue energy, flowing back and forth from one finger on one hand to the other. She lowers her hands and the blue charge disappears.

XENA:
     Yep.

Ares gapes at her open-mouthed, his look of utter shock gradually turning to admiration.

ARES:
     Well, that's definitely something you don't see every day.

GABRIELLE:
     Don't you understand what this means?

XENA (nods):
      We've switched places.

GABRIELLE (concerned):
     Xena...I think you're the new Goddess of War.

Xena and Ares stare at each other, digesting this.

ARES:
     Well--I always said you'd be right for the job...

XENA (narrowing her eyes at him):
     Did you do this?

ARES:
     Me? What am I, crazy?

GABRIELLE:
     Heh. (Ares glares at her and she smirks at him, then turns serious) Look, I think I may know who's behind this.

XENA:
      Who?

GABRIELLE (uncomfortably):
      Well...I may have said...something that gave her this idea.

XENA:
     Her. (Her eyes light up) Aphrodite? (Gabrielle nods) What did you say that could give her an idea like this?

GABRIELLE (squirms):
     Well...we were talking about you and Ares...

Quick pan to Xena and Ares, who both glare at her.

GABRIELLE (continues):
      ...and I said that it might do you two a lot of good if you could just walk a league in each other's boots. It never occurred to me that she would take it so literally.

XENA:
      She didn't. If she had, she would have just switched our boots. This is a bit more drastic.

ARES:
      Dammit, Gabrielle, you have to watch what you say around her. This is my sister we're talking about.

GABRIELLE:
     Yeah, don't I know it. (She turns to Xena.) We've got to get her here.

DARION:
     Hey! (he tugs at Gabrielle's skirt) I'm hungry!

Close-up of the empty frying pan.

HAIMON (sighs):
     Guess we're just going to do with bread and cheese.

ARES (points to Xena):
     She's a goddess. She can get you all the breakfast you want.

Gabrielle, Haimon and Darion look expectantly at Xena.

XENA (sighs):
      Might as well do something useful... (turns to Ares) ...how am I supposed to do this?

ARES (smirks):
     You'll know.

Xena hesitates a moment, then focuses and lifts her hands. The air fills with smoke and light; when the smoke clears, the grass on the site is covered with plates laden with food--pancakes drowning in syrup, waffles stacked a foot high, sizzling bacon and eggs, fruit, sweet buns and other goodies.

Quick close-ups of Gabrielle and Haimon, who look stunned, and Darion, who looks shocked at first but then delighted.

DARION:
      Yeah!

He sprints toward one of the plates, picks up a pancake and starts eating it, smearing syrup all over his face.

ARES:
     Now that's what I call a breakfast. (he picks up a waffle and starts eating)

GABRIELLE:
      Uh, Xena...

XENA:
      All right, so I overdid it a little. Give me a break, I'm new at this.

GABRIELLE:
     A little? (chuckles) I think this could feed an entire army...

Ares gets up, dropping the half-eaten waffle.

XENA (arches an eyebrow at him):
      Don't tell me you don't like them.

ARES:
      No--I can't believe I forgot...I must have gotten distracted with all of this going on. (agitated) I've got an army about a hundred leagues from here, waiting for me to give them a-- (as he catches Xena, Gabrielle and Haimon's disapproving looks, his expression turns sheepish and his voice goes flat) --signal.

XENA (sighs):
      Why am I not surprised... What kind of signal?

ARES (uncomfortably):
      Well...they've been laying siege to a town, Ferovia...

GABRIELLE:
      It's a signal to attack, isn't it?

ARES (sarcastic):
      No, a signal to start passing out flowers. (off Xena's look) Well, I can't go as a mortal. You're the God...dess...of War now, so you have to go in my place.

XENA (shocked):
      Me?

ARES (gesturing around the campsite):
      You see other war gods around?

GABRIELLE:
      You expect Xena to give some army a signal to attack? That's ridiculous.

ARES:
     Well, fine. We can just let that army stew in the heat for a couple of days. Eventually they'll get tired of waiting and attack anyway. Except by then, they'll be really pissed off.

GABRIELLE (crestfallen):
      Oh.

XENA (with a catlike smile):
      Fine, Ares. I'll go. But I'm gonna handle this my own way.

ARES (smirks):
      I'd expect nothing less.

XENA (unimpressed):
      Uh-huh. (looks at Gabrielle and Haimon) I'll be back.

She disappears in a flash of blue light. Ares sighs dreamily.

ARES:
     Never thought I'd live to see that...

Gabrielle makes a face at him.

CUT TO

A wide shot of a town with an army encampment by its walls.

CUT TO

Inside the commander's tent. The commander, a tall dark-haired man in black and red armor, is talking to two of his officers.

COMMANDER:
     Look, if we don't get a signal from Ares soon, the men--

He is interrupted by a flash of blue light. The officers stare in shock as Xena appears in the middle of the tent.

COMMANDER (stares):
     Who are you?

XENA (nonchalantly):
      The new God of War. Or you might say--Goddess.

COMMANDER (obviously shocked and confused):
      What...? (to the officers, waving them aside) Leave us.

The officers back up toward the exit, staring at Xena, and back out of the tent.

COMMANDER (stutters):
     M-my lord Ares said, er--he ordered to wait--what I mean is--

XENA (interrupts unceremoniously):
      Well, Ares is out of the job for now--I'm in charge.

COMMANDER:
     B-but how do I know that--

XENA (glares):
      Do not make me zap you.

She forms a ball of blue fire in her hand and tosses it from one hand to the other. Thoroughly intimidated, the commander bows before her.

COMMANDER:
      What is your command, goddess?

XENA:
     Lift the siege.

COMMANDER (confused):
      The Goddess of War wants me to--

XENA:
      Yes. Lift the siege. Now, before I get mad.

Under her steely gaze, the commander shrinks back and bows again.

COMMANDER:
      Yes, my goddess. W-where shall I take the men?

XENA (frowns--she obviously hasn't thought this through):
      Retreat to--the mountains. (thinks a moment) And wait for a further signal. Understood?

COMMANDER:
      Y-y-yes, my goddess. (he starts to back out of the tent, then stops) What is your name?

XENA (casually):
     Xena.

COMMANDER (gulps):
     The Xena? The Warrior Princess?

XENA (grins a little):
     That's the one.

COMMANDER (nervously):
      Hail Xena... (pauses, trying to think of a title) Xena, Warrior Goddess!

XENA (pleased in spite of herself):
     Not bad.

She vanishes in a flash.

COMMANDER (looks at the spot where she vanished, shaking his head):
     Gods. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

He leaves the tent.

CUT TO

The army encampment in front of the town gates. Some soldiers are wandering about, some are playing dice, some sharpening their weapons. They look bored. The camera pans up to show some of the town leaders looking down on them from the walls.

The commander strides up to the front lines.

COMMANDER:
      Men...

The soldiers perk up visibly.

SOLDIER #1 (eager):
      Are we attacking?

COMMANDER:
      No. We're lifting the siege.

An indignant murmur runs through the ranks, growing louder.

SOLDIER #2:
      What?

SOLDIER #3:
     We've been sitting out here for days!

The murmur grows louder.

COMMANDER (raises his voice):
      Listen to me! We've got orders--from the Goddess of War.

OFFICER #1 (confused):
     What goddess of war? Athena?

The murmurs turn to shouts--the men are obviously ready to riot. There is a flash of blue light and Xena appears next to the commander.

XENA:
      Not Athena. Me.

COMMANDER (extends his hand toward Xena):
      Behold--Xena, Goddess of War! She has taken Ares' place!

A dead hush falls over the camp. The camera pans over the bewildered faces of the soldiers. Then murmurs of "Xena!", "Xena, the Warrior Princess!" and "Xena, the Goddess of War" start up, rippling through the soldier's ranks. The camera pans over the soldiers' faces as they talk excitedly.

SOLDIER #1:
      Xena? A goddess?

SOLDIER #3:
      She must have been a goddess all along!

SOLDIER #4:
      Of course! No mortal could flip twenty feet into the air!

SOLDIER #5:
      Or come back from the dead so many times!

SOLDIER #6:
      Or defeat an army all by herself!

Pan up to the town elders and some warriors on the town walls, looking down.

ELDER #1 (a grey-haired, frail old man):
     Look at that! They've got a goddess on their side!

The camera pulls back for an overhead shot of the camp. The army starts to pull away. A flash of blue can be seen, announcing Xena's departure. Pan back to the besieged townsmen on the city walls.

WARRIOR #1 (bewildered):
     They're--

WARRIOR #2:
     --leaving.

WARRIOR #1:
     I wonder what their game could be.

ELDER #2 (stout, middle-aged man with a curly dark beard):
     Well, that does it! (the others look at him in shock) Look, I'm not afraid of battle. But... (almost blubbering) ...when the enemy starts playing these mind games...that's it! It's enough to make me a nervous wreck!

The camera pans down for a quick montage of the soldiers folding camp and starting to pull away from the town walls.

Behind them, we see the town gates opening. A rider with a white flag comes out of the gates.

CUT TO

The campsite. Gabrielle and Haimon are watching in dismay as Darion reaches for another sweet bun. Ares sits nearby, polishing his sword.

GABRIELLE (gently):
     Darion, don't you think you've had enough?

DARION (bites into the bun and replies with his mouth full):
     No.

HAIMON:
     You're going to be sick, young man.

DARION:
     Maybe I'll become a god too. Then I'll never get sick at all.

ARES:
     The kid's got ambition.

A flash of blue light announces Xena's arrival. Gabrielle, Haimon and Ares look up sharply.

ARES and GABRIELLE (in unison):
     Well?

XENA (imperturbably):
     Everything's fine. I lifted the siege.

Gabrielle smiles while Ares shakes his head ruefully.

ARES (mutters):
     After all the hard work...

XENA (looks as if she is listening to something in the distance; then her expression turns puzzled):
     Hold on.

She vanishes.

HAIMON:
     Now what was that?

CUT TO

The main town square in Ferovia. It is now filled with soldiers, all chanting Xena's name.

COMMANDER (raises his sword in the air):
      Praise Xena, Warrior Goddess!!!

The soldiers start cheering again. There is a flash of light and Xena appears in the square. She looks somewhat bewildered.

COMMANDER (drops on one knee):
      Hail, goddess! You're even better at this than Ares himself! It all worked out exactly as you planned!

XENA (frowns):
     As I--

OFFICER #1:
     When they saw us pulling away, they figured it had to be a trick...a trick so clever they were doomed for sure! So they opened the gates and surrendered the town.

Xena looks taken aback--she did not anticipate this.

COMMANDER (rises):
      All hail, Xena, Warrior Goddess!

SOLDIERS and OFFICERS (chanting):
      Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!

The disappointed look on Xena's face slowly changes to a satisfied one. A small smile appears on her face. A close-up of her face as she throws her head back slightly, her eyes half-closed.

CUT TO

A close-up of Ares, laughing in delight.

The camera pulls back to show Xena standing in the middle of the campsite and Gabrielle, Haimon, and Ares sitting around the fire's remnants. Xena looks daggers at Ares and he stifles his laugh.

XENA:
      Very funny.

ARES:
      What can you say. You've outsmarted yourself. (he almost starts laughing again but her steely gaze stops him)

GABRIELLE (to Xena):
      Look, at least the town was taken with no bloodshed.

ARES:
      Ah. There's always a downside.

Gabrielle gives him a nasty look and Xena glares at him. He holds up his hands in a conciliatory gesture.

In the background, we see Darion sneaking off with some more of the sweet buns left over from breakfast, taking advantage of the fact that the adults are too preoccupied.

GABRIELLE (to Xena):
      And you let this happen?

XENA:
      I just wanted to get out of there, Gabrielle. (she hesitates, then blurts out) I--I was starting to enjoy it too much.

Ares gives her a thoughtful look. Their eyes meet and she looks away.

GABRIELLE (pauses for a moment while digesting this):
      We'd better get Aphrodite.

XENA:
      Well, go ahead. She's your pal.

HAIMON:
      Gabrielle and Ares have tried calling to her but it didn't work. She's obviously avoiding us.

XENA:
      For a good reason, I'm sure. (sighs) I guess I'll just have to hunt her down.

HAIMON:
      You can do that?

XENA (smirks):
      Don't forget, I'm a goddess. I have many (pauses) new skills.

With that, she disappears.

CUT TO

Xena materializes inside the temple where Gabrielle and Aphrodite had their chat the night before.

XENA (sing-song):
      Aph-ro-diiii-te... (normal voice) I know you're here. I can feel you. (Xena starts walking around the temple) You know why that is, don't you? Of course you do--because it's all thanks to you. And don't bother zapping away to Olympus. You know I can follow you there, too.

She gazes intently at one spot in the room, then pounces suddenly and grabs something. That something turns out to be Aphrodite's arm, which comes into visibility. Xena pulls at her arm and eventually all of Aphrodite comes into view, as if Xena had pulled her out of an invisible cloud.

XENA:
      No more hide and seek.

APHRODITE:
      Sorry. You, um, surprised me. (trying to act as innocent as possible) Wow, fabulous outfit, babe! I totally dig it.

XENA:
      I bet you do.

APHRODITE:
      Hey--wanna let go of the arm?

XENA:
      Not a chance. We're going in for a little chat.

Before Aphrodite has a chance to say anything, lights flare up around them and they disappear.

CUT TO

The campsite. Xena and Aphrodite flash in, Xena still holding on to Aphrodite's arm. Xena lets go of Aphrodite.

APHRODITE (rubs her arm):
      You've got some grip. (looks around) So...what's the occasion? Are we having a party, or what?

ARES (steps forward):
      You know exactly what the occasion is, Sis.

APHRODITE:
      Oh--hey, Ar! What's happenin'?

She wilts under his glare. Darion, who stands next to Ares, tries to imitate his angry pose as best he can.

Aphrodite finally sighs and throws her arms in the air.

APHRODITE:
     All right. All right! Calm down--the bad vibes are, like, totally killing the mood. Okay, okay, it was me. I confess. I did it. I switched you two. You happy now?

XENA:
     Oh no. Not until you undo whatever it is you did. Because it's going to be a cold day in Tartarus before I get stuck like this.

ARES:
     What she said.

APHRODITE:
     I can't switch you back.

GABRIELLE:
     What?

APHRODITE:
      Look, you two have major issues in the relationship department (Xena and Ares glare) and I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. I'm just trying to help.

ARES:
      And this is supposed to help--how?

APHRODITE:
     D'uh! It's that whole walking-a-league-in-each-other's-boots thing.

Ares and Xena turn to Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE (defensively):
     Don't look at me! It was just a thought.

XENA (turns back to Aphrodite):
     What do you mean, you can't switch us back?

APHRODITE:
     Well--I kinda rigged the spell so that it would work by itself.

XENA:
     Oh no. More poetry?

APHRODITE:
     When each has seen through the other's eyes,
     Then both will be returned to their place.

GABRIELLE:
      That doesn't even rhyme!

APHRODITE:
     No, but it works. (giggles) Trust me. Gotta run--toodles!

Smiling brightly, she waves and disappears in a shower of golden sparks as we:

FADE OUT

END OF ACT ONE