8.08 This Is Your Life II


ACT ONE

FADE IN

From end of teaser:

XENA (impossible to believe):
     You...saved her.

ARES:
     No. The spring you rigged saved her, I just pitched relief.

XENA (shakes head):
     But Eve means your death...

ARES:
     You still don't get it. (comes closer) All I want to do is end my life the way it really started-- (and closer) --fighting side by side-- (takes her hand gently) --with you.

XENA:
     You forget-- (nods bitterly at the bodies) --I'm fighting against the gods now.

ARES:
     Then so will I. (off Xena's disbelief) A fight is a fight, no matter which side you're on.

XENA (scowls):
     Is that what you said last time, when you sold out to Dahak?

ARES:
     This isn't like that!

XENA:
     Isn't it? Seems to me that's exactly what you're doing--now that you fear you're checking out, you've decided to jump ship. (disgusted and hurt) I'm not going to fall for your seduction routine, Ares. I know all your talk is lies. You're only in this to save your own skin.

ARES (she's getting to him):
     Why do you never believe me when I'm trying to be sincere?

XENA (rolls her eyes):
     Sincere!

ARES:
     I'm trying, okay? (getting a grip, intensely) Every god on Mount Olympus is targeting you and your child. Even now, three temple armies are on your trail. How long do you think you can keep running?

XENA (he's making sense, she tries not to show it, turns away):
     As long as it takes.

Ares and Xena

ARES:
     I meant what I said back in Tartarus. I'm more than willing to fight beside you, be a father to Eve... (Xena glances at him; she didn't expect him to continue the romantic stuff) ...if you--

XENA (finishes caustically):
     If I give you a child.

ARES:
     ...if you let me. What do you say?

XENA (surprised):
     What happened to that baby demand?

ARES:
     I guess I never thought of it, this time around. In our time, you didn't believe me when I offered to fight beside you against the gods, so I came up with another reason to--to be with you... And screwed up.

XENA:
     And this time, you didn't just offer--you chose to join the fight, to prove yourself...

ARES:
     Actions speak louder than words. Wish I'd figured that one out when it counted...

GABRIELLE:
     It counts now.

XENA (softening):
     An alliance? You side with me against the other gods to protect Eve?

ARES:
     Yeah.

They are very close for a moment, their hands touching, eyes locked on each other.

XENA (suddenly businesslike):
     All right.

Ares is slightly taken aback, as though he didn't really believe that she'd agree.

XENA:
     But if you ever so much as touch a hair on her head, I swear...

ARES (indignant):
     I gave you my word! And I do not go back on my promises.

XENA (whispers):
     Didn't I say that?

ARES:
     Seems I beat you to it.

EVE:
     Shhh...

They look back to the screen.

XENA:
     You can start by taking Joxer and Gabrielle to the mandrake tree.

ARES:
     Oh yeah, I can see it now: the God of War appearing out of the blue just to rescue two warrior wannabes...

GABRIELLE:
     Hey! I resent that.

Ares

ARES (smirks):
     But you don't deny it. (to Xena) 'Out of the blue' was good, I should remember that one.

EVE:
     Shhh...

XENA:
     Are you saying it's beneath you to help my friends?

ARES:
     I'm saying--they're not gonna trust me, are they?

XENA (grudgingly):
     I'm coming with you. We'll get the remedy and get out of this valley before those armies can reach us.

ARES:
     Now we're talking! How about a temple? I'm thinking Epirus: great views, cliffs, a fresh breeze from the sea... (off Xena's hesitation) Go on, pick a place, any place--though on second thoughts, I'd stay clear of Amphipolis for a while.

XENA (startled):
     Why's that?

ARES:
     Athena's armies are headed that way.

XENA:
     What?!

ARES:
     Oh yeah. Her elite archers, knights from Britannia, even Cleopatra's royal guard...

XENA:
     Then that's where we're going.

ARES:
     To Amphipolis? If you want to go out in a blaze of glory, there's three perfectly good armies right here in this valley.

XENA (sarcastic):
     Thanks for the vote of confidence. Are you in on this or not?

ARES:
     You're making a mistake.

XENA:
     You're wasting my time.

ARES (throws up his hands):
     Fine--Amphipolis it is. I'll take you and the blonde to my temple.

XENA:
     No. My mother's inn.

ARES:
     Aren't we moving a bit too fast?

XENA:
     Don't get any ideas, Ares. I'm your ally, not your girlfriend.

Eve whimpers, Xena picks her up in the sling and puts it on, turning automatically to let Ares fasten the straps. His hands linger on her waist a moment. Xena freezes when she realizes what she did, and turns back with a scowl.

ARES (patting Eve's back as Xena turns):
     There you go.

Eve gives a loud burp.

ARES:
     I think she likes me.

XENA (tense):
     Let's go.

There is a blue flash and they disappear.

GABRIELLE:
     Wait a minute, I--want to see something.

She reaches for the bead and touches it. The image wavers and changes to a road in the forest.

As in ETERNAL BONDS, Gabrielle and Joxer are riding. Joxer is starting to look very ill.

EVE (uncomfortable):
     Joxer...

JOXER:
     If you wanna go then by all means, you should go. I'm fine, I feel good.

Gabrielle looks as if she's been waiting for him to say it.

XENA:
     You were just going to leave him there?!

GABRIELLE (low voice):
     Joxer, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

Eve glances at her, then drops her eyes hastily, pained.

JOXER:
     You're so beautiful, Gabrielle--I ever tell you that?

ARES (groans):
     Oh, come on!

He gives the bead a flick, it slides along its thread. On the screen we see a "fast-forwarded" series of scenes--Xena getting the mandrake leaf, Xena and Gabrielle fussing over Joxer, then what looks like more sensitive talking between Joxer and Gabrielle...

GABRIELLE:
     Hey, I wanted to see that! (lunges for the remote, Ares holds it away)

XENA:
     Ares!!

ARES (keeps control of the remote with some difficulty):
     What? I didn't see you waste your choice on this stuff! (mimics) Oh Joxer, I don't love you that way... The melodrama...

GABRIELLE:
     Give me that!

EVE (jostled off the couch):
     Stop it--Don't--Ooh!

XENA (roars):
     Stop this right now!

Everyone freezes. Ares grabs the bead to stop the fast forward.

On the screen, we see the banners of an army and the marching troops.

ARES:
     That's more like it.

Eve sulkily gets back onto the couch next to Gabrielle, who is still glaring at Ares, on Xena's other side.

The camera pans down to show Athena and her Champion, Ilainus, riding side-by-side.

ILAINUS:
     Amphipolis is completely surrounded.

ATHENA:
     Excellent. You know my mind better than I do, Ilainus.

XENA (fed up):
     Hand it over, Ares.

Ares obediently puts the remote into her palm. He tries to grin, but Xena purses her lips and touches the bead.

Cyrene's inn. There are customers sitting around at tables, a lot of noise, the place looks busy. The door opens and Xena and Gabrielle rush inside. There is a barely-noticeable flash of blue behind them.

GABRIELLE:
     Wait! Wait, hold it. I just thought of something... Ares knew about Athena's army, in our time. (accusing) You knew she was going to attack Amphipolis, and you just let Xena walk into her trap!

ARES:
     You saw it, Xena went to Amphipolis anyway.

XENA:
     Gabrielle has a point--that army must've taken quite a while to assemble. We could've evacuated the town if we had warning.

ARES:
     I was preoccupied, okay? (looks from Gabrielle's angry expression to Xena's uncertain one) Look, Xena--I swear, I had no idea Athena was moving her troops to Amphipolis until it was too late. If I'd known, do you think I would have bothered trying to trap you with the three armies?

Xena recoils as if slapped.

Gabrielle

GABRIELLE:
     You set those armies on Xena's trail...

ARES (defensive):
     I was the God of War! What was I supposed to do, write sonnets?!

EVE (explodes off the couch; Livia scream):
     Shut up!!!

Silence.

EVE (sobs):
     Mother, please--Gabrielle... (glances at Ares, then back at Xena) I know it was a-hard--time for you, all. But can't we just see how things work out, this time around? Please.

Ares and Gabrielle look abashed. A beat, Xena nods as well. She draws Eve down to the floor to sit in front of her.

XENA:
     Sweetheart, I'm sorry... You're right. (she gives the bead to Eve) Go on.

Eve touches the bead and we see:

Cyrene's inn. The door slams. Cyrene turns around to see Xena and Gabrielle rushing towards her, Xena carrying Eve.

XENA:
     Mom!

CYRENE (beaming):
     Xena! (takes Eve from Xena and Gabrielle) Well! It's about time you brought my new little granddaughter for a visit.

XENA (urgent):
     Listen, Mom, there'll be time for a family reunion later on. Right now we have to get you to safety--come on!!

Cyrene continues to baby-talk to a delighted Eve.

EVE (wonderingly):
     Grandmother...I wish I could've met her.

Gabrielle's eyes soften, she puts her hand on Eve's shoulder.

GABRIELLE:
     Maybe you still can.

XENA (tears in her eyes; she misses Cyrene):
     Maybe we all can, this time around. (looks sideways at Ares) If Ares comes through for us.

Ares touches the bead, and we see:

Overhead shots of Athena's army from AMPHIPOLIS UNDER SIEGE.

CUT TO

The defenders of Amphipolis manning the barricades. Gabrielle is directing two soldiers securing a wooden shield in place.

CUT TO

Xena is walking along the line of barricades, looking preoccupied and frowning. Pan back along the barricade to show Ares standing there, watching her.

ATHENA (off-camera):
     Sad, isn't it? To be mortal.

ARES:
     Keep this up, Sis, and you just might find out.

Ares turns around to see Athena standing near the barricades. None of the defenders show any signs of having seen her.

ATHENA:
     The prophecy says Xena's child will destroy all of us! You think that by joining Xena and her friends you can escape?

ARES:
     See, I know Xena. Prophecy or not, if you keep hunting her kid, you're dead. So be smart, pull back your army, and I'll take them away someplace safe.

Athena

ATHENA (laughs incredulously):
     And where would that be? Oh, you're thinking with your codpiece again, brother. Do you really think Xena will be yours if you can save the child?

ARES (grabs her wrist furiously):
     Have you considered that maybe this prophecy is fulfilling itself? Think about it. What can Xena's baby do to us, really? Yet the more we fight amongst ourselves because of one tiny child, the more vulnerable we become.

ATHENA:
     Because of this one tiny child, Zeus is already dead!

ARES:
     If he'd let well enough alone, Hercules wouldn't have killed him.

ATHENA:
     And what if you're wrong, Ares? Is it worth the risk for one child--or one woman? (decisive) There will be no compromise.

Athena disappears; Ares looks after her in exasperation.

CUT TO

Cyrene's inn. Xena is looking at a map; Cyrene and others are tending to the wounded.

A gold glow signals Athena's arrival; Xena looks around quickly, puzzled that no one notices.

ATHENA:
     They can't see me. I came to talk to you.

XENA:
     Very well then, let's talk. Why are you doing this, Athena? Of all the Olympians, you were the only one who ever seemed to deserve my respect...

ATHENA (ironic):
     Touching. But flattery is for priests and lovers, Xena; it is meaningless here. Believe me, I take no pleasure in this--the people of Amphipolis have always been loyal to me--but you leave me no choice. I don't want any of them to suffer, any more than you do. Give me the child, and Amphipolis will receive my blessing.

XENA:
     You're asking me to give up the future. Well, I won't do that, even if it means sacrificing my life!

ATHENA:
     And what if it's your mother's life? Or Gabrielle's? Or any of them? (motions around the room full of wounded people) I know about the deal you made with my brother--but do you really think Ares can help you now? You're a warrior, Xena. You should know better than to count on a traitor to keep his word.

Xena looks troubled.

CUT TO

Xena strides into Ares' temple.

XENA:
     Ares! Ares--I need to talk to you.

ARES (appearing):
     No luck, huh. Don't feel bad--after all, you're up against the goddess of wisdom and warfare.

XENA (dryly):
     Don't forget weaving.

ARES:
     So. I guess we're back to the old plan. I get you and Eve out of here, Athena pulls out, this whole thing will be over.

XENA:
     No it won't--don't you see? She's ransoming these people's lives for Eve's. If we go, she will destroy Amphipolis. And the blood will be on my hands.

ARES:
     How about I throw your mother into the bargain?

XENA:
     And leave the town to Athena? No.

GABRIELLE (comes up beside Xena):
     I have an idea.

CUT TO

The barricades, daytime. As in AMPHIPOLIS UNDER SIEGE, Athena and Ilainus are watching a small detachment of the villagers embroiled in a fight with the army. Gabrielle is among them, fighting with a long-handled mallet. She swings it like a staff, taking out two attackers, but they are quickly replaced. It's obvious that the villagers are heavily outnumbered.

ILAINUS (to Athena):
     Gabrielle tried to charge our lines. We have her trapped.

ATHENA:
     End it for me, Ilainus. Before all of Amphipolis is destroyed, put an arrow in the young bard. We'll see how long Xena will resist while her companion slowly bleeds to death.

Ilainus is already nocking her bow, taking aim at Gabrielle.

Xena appears in the distance, carrying a cloth-wrapped bundle.

ATHENA (startled):
     Stop the attack!

ILAINUS (to the soldiers):
     Stop the attack!!

SOLDIERS' VOICES:
     Hold it! Halt!

Xena approaches Athena.

GABRIELLE:
     What are you doing?!

XENA (jostles past):
     Get out of my way, Gabrielle. I'm going to save those people--and you.

ATHENA:
     A wise decision, Xena.

XENA:
     Pull back your army.

ATHENA:
     Of course. (to Ilainus) You heard her.

ILAINUS:
     Pull back!

The soldiers disengage from the fight and move back, regrouping. Xena lays the baby bundle at her feet and steps back, looking anguished.

ATHENA:
     It's for the best, Xena. (raises sword) You might want to look away.

XENA:
     If my daughter's to be sacrificed to save these people, the least I can do to honor her is to remember every detail.

Athena shrugs and raises the sword higher, taking aim--then brings it down.

ARES (appearing):
     Not so fast, Sis. (blocks her sword)

ATHENA:
     Ares! Get out of my way!

Ares and Athena's swords clash, setting off sparks.

XENA:
     Gabrielle, now!

GABRIELLE:
     Attack!!!

Villagers come out of their hiding places, pouring into the midst of Athena's unprepared troops, taking them by surprise. The battle continues as in AMPHIPOLIS UNDER SIEGE, Ares keeping Athena away while Xena battles Ilainus.

CUT TO

Ilainus collapses, clutching her wound. Xena jerks her sword free, a mixture of regret and relief on her face. Athena sees Ilainus fall.

ATHENA:
     Ilainus--no! (she kneels and cradles Ilainus' head) Your wound is beyond my healing.

ILAINUS:
     Do I still have your favour, Athena?

ATHENA:
     Always. (Ilainus smiles, then dies) Take a good look Ares. We're next--all of us! (she disappears with Ilainus)

Deprived of its high command, the army falls apart quickly and retreats. We see soldiers fleeing into the hills beyond the town. The villagers cheer their victory, headed by Gabrielle.

Ares comes up to Xena, sheathing his sword. They exchange a look of camaraderie, then clasp hands.

XENA:
     Thank you--for saving my daughter. (picks up the bundle gently)

ARES (grins):
     Technically, I just saved your dolly. (pulls down the wrap on the bundle to reveal the doll's painted face)

Cyrene comes up, carrying the real Eve, safe and sound. She looks from Ares to Xena.

CYRENE:
     I don't understand. Xena--you planned the whole thing?

XENA:
     Another of Gabrielle's brilliant ideas.

She tosses the doll to Gabrielle as she comes up; Gabrielle catches it and grins back.

GABRIELLE:
     I learned from the best.

XENA:
     Thanks. (takes Eve from Cyrene)

GABRIELLE:
     Actually I meant the story of Cronos, how he swallowed a cloth-wrapped stone thinking it was a baby--

XENA:
     Well, it worked.

ARES:
     Not for long. Xena, you have to move Eve into my temple. Athena will be back, and even without her army, she's bound to cause trouble.

GABRIELLE:
     Why the temple?

ARES:
     It's an honor thing--gods don't go around destroying each other's temples. Right now, it's the safest place there is.

XENA (after a pause):
     All right. (to Cyrene and Gabrielle) Let's go.

CYRENE (looks at her doubtfully):
     But Xena--relying on the gods' honor at a time like this-- (meaningful look at Ares) --is that wise?

XENA:
     It's the best chance we've got.

CUT TO

Inside Ares' temple (the one seen in AMPHIPOLIS UNDER SIEGE). Ares stands waiting by the altar. Xena comes out of a back room.

ARES:
     All set up?

XENA:
     Well, it's not a place I would have picked for a nursery, but... (sighs) ...thank you.

She comes closer to Ares and he comes toward her until they face each other, now seen in profile in a scene reminiscent of the first temple scene in AMPHIPOLIS UNDER SIEGE. The tension between them is palpable.

XENA:
     Ares... When we were fighting side by side--

ARES:
     So you felt it too. It was as if we were one.

XENA (wryly):
     I was going to say--you kept your word.

ARES:
     Good to know I can still surprise you.

XENA:
     You did. But you realize the other gods will be after you too, now.

ARES:
     Guess you're stuck with me, then.

XENA:
     Guess so.

She moves in and kisses him, then pulls back slightly to watch his face.

ARES (grins):
     Who needs Olympus?

He returns the kiss and a moment later the two of them are lost in each other, the kiss becoming more passionate and urgent. Xena's hands fumble at Ares' waist and in a moment his swordbelt falls to the floor. He unhooks her breastplate, letting it fall with a thud.

Cyrene appears in one of the doorways with Eve.

CYRENE:
     Xena, are you--

XENA:
     Mom! (pulls back from Ares)

CYRENE (taking in the scene):
     Well, I suppose it could be--worse. After all, he is a god...

ARES:
     And you know, this is a very large temple...

CYRENE (taking the hint):
     I'll put Eve to bed.

XENA:
     Uh. Thanks.

Cyrene leaves.

ARES:
     So--where were we?

Xena hesitates a moment, then grins and moves to kiss him passionately. Ares is about to respond, but Xena grabs the front of his vest and throws him to the couch, landing over him.

ARES:
     Whoa!

Xena and Ares

Xena opens his vest and dives for his nipple, making him gasp, then comes back up to kiss him.

EVE:
     Mother!

Close-up of the couch, Xena, Ares and Gabrielle looking extremely embarrassed and Eve looking flustered and uncomfortable. A beat.

ALL (consensus):
     Fast-forward.

FADE OUT

END OF ACT ONE