FADE IN

A clearing in the forest. Gabrielle is sitting on a tree stump, opening up a new scroll. She holds the quill in her hand, slowly tapping it against her cheek, deep in thought. Finally she starts to write.

Suddenly, Xena's battle cry, "A-yi-yi-yi-yi!" cuts through the silence. Gabrielle looks up in alarm, puts down the quill and reaches for her sais. In a moment, Xena bursts out onto the clearing in a series of spectacular flips, giving her battle cry again, then comes to a halt, draws her sword and assumes a fighting stance. Gabrielle gives her a very puzzled look. Darion comes running after Xena, laughing excitedly. He is carrying three large fishes on a string.

GABRIELLE:
     Uh, Xena--are you fighting a ghost?

XENA (sheathes her sword with a chuckle):
     Nah, I just promised Darion that if he caught a fish, I'd do some flips and the battle cry for him.

DARION:
     That was great!

GABRIELLE (looks from Darion to Xena, a little uncomfortably):
     Oh...okay. (to Darion, smiling) You caught a fish?

DARION (points to the largest of the fishes):
     Yeah! It was this one.

XENA (teasing):
     Ya think?

DARION (hotly):
     I know it was!

GABRIELLE:
     That's wonderful, sweetheart.

She puts down her sais and picks up the quill again.

XENA:
     Whatcha doing?

GABRIELLE:
     Writing the story of how Agrippina and Nero came to power in Rome.

XENA (smiles at her):
     Good story. (suddenly serious) Once we know how it ends.

GABRIELLE:
     Xena, I know they're going to do good. (puts down the quill) Want me to go gather some firewood?

XENA (looks at her and Darion):
     I'll go. You two stay here--you can show Darion how to clean fish.

GABRIELLE:
     Good idea. Come on, Darion, bring the fish over here.

Xena smiles at Gabrielle as Darion runs toward her, then heads off into the forest.

CUT TO

Xena walks through the forest gathering wood. Suddenly, a contented look appears on her face and she closes her eyes, her lips parting a little. In a flare of blue light, Ares appears before her. He puts his hands on her shoulders and their lips lock in a brief but ardent kiss. When he pulls away, he looks into her wide eyes.

XENA (regaining breath):
     That was, uh, quite a hello.

ARES (smirks):
     I do my best.

XENA (teasing):
     That was your best?

They stare at each other, silence between them, then Ares grins and leans toward her, kissing her again. She drops the firewood and wraps her arms around him. They kiss passionately for a few moments; then Ares breaks the kiss and caresses Xena's cheek with the back of his hand.

ARES:
     How was that?

XENA (playful but tender):
     That was better.

ARES (insinuating):
     You know, it can be even better than that.

XENA (dreamily):
     I know. (she pauses, then shakes her head slightly, snapping out of her reverie) So, are you here for any particular reason?

ARES:
     Other than--the better-than-that part?

XENA (wryly):
     Other than that.

ARES (suddenly serious and uncomfortable):
     Um, actually...I didn't get a chance to say this before... (he stumbles a little while she waits for him, calm but slightly tense) Xena, look--I did want to talk to you about Sabina...

XENA:
     What about Sabina?

ARES:
     Xena, I never... (shakes his head) She was never my champion--or anything else. (pause, obviously about to say something else)

XENA:
     But--?

ARES (sighs):
     But--when she said she wanted to fight and conquer in my name, I won't deny that I was--interested.

XENA:
     And you let her believe that she had the job. (Ares gives her a slightly startled look and she chuckles bitterly) I know how you do things, Ares. (she pauses) Of course you were interested. She offered you something that you knew I would never give you.

There is a moment of uncomfortable silence between them, neither of them looking at each other.

ARES (quietly):
     You've given me more.

He takes her hand.

XENA:
     Ares--that thing with Sabina--I'm not holding it against you. It was just a reminder... You have your job and I have mine--and sometimes we're going to be on opposite sides.

ARES:
     I hope it doesn't mean that we can't have a little fun on our days off.

XENA (chuckles):
     Maybe.

She raises his hand to her face, pressing her cheek to the back of his hand. They stand silently for a few moments.

ARES (breaks the silence and steps back):
     So, where are you headed to?

XENA:
     Cyprus.

ARES:
     What's in Cyprus?

XENA:
     Just a vacation.

ARES:
     Really. When did you last go on just a vacation?

XENA (her face is clouded for a moment):
     Andros Island.

ARES:
     And we know how well that worked out.

XENA:
     Who knows, maybe if I hadn't gone there we wouldn't have brought your family back. (Ares nods thoughtfully) Anyway, next week is Darion's birthday. (off Ares' surprised look) He's never been on a ship before. Gabrielle told him all these stories about traveling by sea and it was something he really wanted.

ARES:
     So you had to take a boat trip.

XENA:
     It was either that or get him a pet rabbit.

ARES:
     That kid's really got you both wrapped around his little finger, huh?

XENA (cool facade):
     Not true at all. We're just taking care of him until we can find him a real home.

ARES (sarcastic):
     Oh yeah.

XENA:
     Besides, it'll be a chance for us to relax.

ARES (sarcastically):
     Forget it. The moment you set foot on Cyprus, there's bound to be a pirate raid, or a civil war, or some monster will decide to pay a visit. You know how trouble follows you.

XENA:
     I thought I followed trouble.

ARES:
     Either way, you always seem to find each other. (suavely and a little playfully) You know, if you really want to relax, I have a much better idea...

He comes up behind her and begins, slowly, to rub her shoulders. She closes her eyes in pleasure but then opens them again.

XENA (shakes her head):
     Sorry, Ares. Your offer...won't do much for Gabrielle and Darion.

ARES:
     So, let them go to Cyprus and have their fun. (grins) And we'll have ours.

XENA (smiles):
     Look me up on Cyprus.

They smile at each other. Xena picks up the firewood and starts to leave, then stops and looks at Ares. She walks back toward him, drops the firewood, puts her hand behind Ares' head and gives him a short but passion-filled kiss. When she steps back, Ares is the one looking at her wide-eyed.

ARES (grins):
     And that was quite a goodbye.

Smiling back at him, Xena picks up the firewood again and walks off.

ARES:
     Enjoy your vacation!

CUT TO

A square in a city, dominated by a large palace of marble and gold surrounded by tall cypresses. The square is filled with angry women who are shouting and banging on their pots and pans.

WOMAN #1:
     Down with King Pygmalion!

WOMAN #2:
     We're mad as hell and we won't take it anymore!

WOMAN #3:
     It's about time Cyprus had a decent king!

Guards in armor of gold and silver run out into the square and attack the women, trying to push them back with their spears. The women fight back with their pots and pans. A wild melee ensues as we:

FADE OUT

END OF TEASER