TEASER

FADE IN

A medium shot of Xena and Gabrielle on foot, leading their horses slowly through a lovely forest, obviously enjoying a gorgeous day.

CUT TO

A Merchant, dragging his cart, mumbling and swearing, trudging down the same road.

CUT TO

Xena and Gabrielle. They hear him coming and stop. The merchant comes into view, approaches and passes them, still muttering and whining.

MERCHANT:
     Damn Iobatas, damn all kings, damn bloodsucking monster, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!

XENA:
     He sounds upset.

GABRIELLE:
     Ya think?

XENA:
     Hmm... He looks familiar.

GABRIELLE:
     Now that you mention it...

XENA:
     I've got it! He was one of the survivors of the Chimaera's attack.

GABRIELLE:
     You're right. But what's he doing here? Weren't they going to stay in Lycia? Iobatas promised to distribute money from the treasury to those who had suffered. Why isn't he doing that?

XENA:
     Let's go find out.

They catch up to the merchant, who is still grumbling and muttering.

XENA:
     Excuse me.

MERCHANT:
     Bloodsucking creep, stupid assh--

XENA:
     Excuse me!

MERCHANT:
     What? Who? Oh it's you.

XENA:
     What are you doing?

MERCHANT:
     Leaving, what's it look like?

XENA:
     I thought Iobatas was going to help--

MERCHANT (shrieking):
     Help?! That blood suck--

GABRIELLE:
     Hey, calm down.

MERCHANT (through his teeth):
     I...am...calm.

XENA:
     Okay. What's going on?

MERCHANT:
     Iobatas has not given one dinar to anyone since you left. He's just moping around the palace and acting like a jerk. That's what's going on. Things are worse than ever and anyone with half a brain is getting out.

GABRIELLE:
     But--

MERCHANT:
     No buts. No ifs or ands, either. Just good-bye and don't let the door hit you in the--

XENA:
     Okay, we've got the picture. (she turns away, turns back) Good luck to you.

MERCHANT:
     Yeah, right. Damn bloodsucker, damn all kings...

He's still muttering and cursing as he disappears over a rise in the road.

GABRIELLE:
     So...back to Lycia?

XENA:
     Back to Lycia--and your friend.

Xena grins as Gabrielle blushes scarlet.

CUT TO

A dusty room crammed with trunks, odd pieces of furniture, books, bottles, and all kinds of junk. Sunlight streams through the window, glinting on the dust motes dancing in the air. Theias is hunting through the room. He comes upon an old trunk in a corner, opens it, and sees a bunch of scrolls. He smiles with pleasure and takes one out, sits down on the trunk and starts to read. Since he's not a good reader yet, he's reading aloud, sounding out some of the words and having a lot of trouble.

THEIAS:
     Recee--receepee--receepeetee--what's a receepeetee? (he shrugs and continues his laborious task) For wa-wa-washing! Washing, that's it! (he's pleased with himself) One toga, one shi-shirt, one pair of--it's a bill from the laundry!

Disgusted, he drops the scroll on the floor, gets up and drags the trunk further forward into the puddle of sunlight. He hears a sharp crack as he moves it. Curious, he pulls the trunk completely away from the wall, revealing that a floorboard has popped up. He peers under it cautiously, obviously thinking of snakes or scorpions, then his face changes and he reaches in and pulls out another scroll. This one is much older than the other, faded, dirty, and yet at one time it was heavily decorated with gold. He reseats himself on the trunk lid and starts on his new project.

THEIAS:
     God-dess of De-dee-desire. Now this is more like it! Goddess of Desire, grant me--

POLYEIDUS (thundering from the doorway):
     What do you think you're doing?

Theias jumps in fright and drops the scroll. Polyeidus holds out his hand.

POLYEIDUS:
     Give it to me.

THEIAS:
     But--

POLYEIDUS:
     I said give it to me!

Theias picks up the scroll, hands it to his father, and dodges past him out of the room.

CUT TO

The same dusty room, only now it's dark. Theias creeps in and starts hunting for the scroll. He looks under the floorboard, on the shelves, in the trunk, but can't find it. He sits on the trunk lid as before, then gets an idea. He kneels down, opens the trunk, and starts to unroll all the scrolls. When he gets to the bottom, he finds the ornate scroll rolled up inside another. He unrolls it, and begins to sound it out again, this time reading by moonlight.

THEIAS:
     Goddess of Desire, grant me this fa-vor...

CUT TO

A serene campsite. Xena and Gabrielle are asleep, the fire burning low. Suddenly they sit up simultaneously and stare at each other, wide-eyed. And just as suddenly they collapse into unconsciousness.

CUT TO

Polyeidus's bedroom. At the same moment that the others fall, the old man sits up with a gasp of horror.

POLYEIDUS:
     You fool, what have you done?

FADE OUT

END OF TEASER