ACT ONE

FADE IN

We're back at the campsite. The sun's rising and birds are chirping. Gabrielle opens one eye.

GABRIELLE (groaning):
     There are days when I could cheerfully murder every miserable feathered creature in Greece!

XENA:
     Well, that would certainly take care of breakfast.

Gabrielle glares at her.

XENA:
     Or not.

GABRIELLE (frowning as she thinks back):
     Xena, did something happen last night?

XENA (carefully):
     Er--how do you mean?

GABRIELLE:
     I don't know. Something. We woke up.

XENA:
     Oh, yeah--and then you looked at me funny.

GABRIELLE:
     Hey, you looked at me first!

XENA:
     Nah, you always look at me that way. Especially at night.

GABRIELLE:
     No, this was different. I vaguely remember sitting up and looking at you, and you were staring back. Then I don't remember anything else.

XENA:
     Now that you mention it... You went straight back to sleep after that. I suppose that was a bit odd.

GABRIELLE:
     What woke us, do you think?

XENA (shrugs):
     A nightmare?

GABRIELLE:
     Both of us? At the same time? (she pauses) How do you feel?

XENA:
     I'm fine...no, wait a minute. I do feel strange. A little jumpy.

GABRIELLE:
     And that's supposed to be strange?

XENA:
     I feel like...something's about to happen.

GABRIELLE:
     Me too. Like I'm anticipating something but I have no idea what it is.

XENA:
     Gabrielle, I'd love to sit here all morning getting in touch with our feelings, but we have to see Iobatas. Let's go.

A silver-blue flash announces the arrival of Ares. Xena and Gabrielle turn in slow motion, and look up at him. Both seem to get a strange look in their eyes for a moment, then blink, as if coming out of a trance.

ARES:
     Is this a bad time?

For a moment, the women stare at him in puzzlement. Then, Gabrielle's expression turns to slight annoyance and Xena's to desire.

GABRIELLE:
     What do you want?

ARES:
     Hello, Ares, how are you? I'm fine, thank you, Gabrielle, how nice of you to ask.

XENA (breathy):
     Hellooo, Ares, how are you? You're fiiiine, thank you...

ARES and GABRIELLE:
     Xena?!

XENA (sighs):
     Yeah...

She gazes at Ares in rapt adoration.

ARES (flaps his hand in front of her nose):
     Xena? Are you in there?

XENA (sighing deeply):
     Oh, Ares...

ARES:
     All right, Gabrielle, very funny. Hand over the nutbread.

GABRIELLE:
     I don't have any. And Xena didn't have any, either. (turns to Xena) Hey...are you okay?

XENA (with a beautiful smile):
     Oh, yes, I'm more than all right, I'm perfect. As long as you're here, Ares, everything is wonderful.

She steps close to the War God, putting her head on his shoulder and her arms around him.

ARES:
     Er--

GABRIELLE:
     Xena!

XENA:
     Don't bother me.

She slides her hand up his arm to the back of his neck and tries to pull his mouth down to hers. He pushes her hands away and steps back. She comes after him and they begin a goofy race, with Ares walking backward around the campsite and Xena in pursuit.

ARES:
     Now look--

XENA:
     No, you look! You've wanted me for years and now you run away?

ARES:
     Xena--

XENA (continues to advance):
     All I want is to be with you. Cook your breakfast...darn your socks...

ARES (still retreating):
     I don't wear socks. And I don't eat breakfast, either.

XENA:
     Oh, you will. I want to be yours, Ares. I lo--

ARES:
     Oh, that's great, Xena. Go ahead, have a good laugh. Just don't count on having me as your audience. (to Gabrielle) I don't know what the joke is, but I've had enough.

He turns, walking away, and vanishes.

XENA:
     No, don't leave me! Come back! Ares!

In a frenzy, Xena saddles Argo and gallops off. Gabrielle stares after her, shaking her head in bewilderment. Before she can do anything else, Xena comes galloping past her in the opposite direction. Gabrielle just manages to saddle her own horse when Xena zooms past yet again. Gabrielle, like a spectator at a tennis match, watches this for a few more laps, until she gets an idea. Xena is coming up again, Gabrielle cups her hands to her mouth and yells.

GABRIELLE:
     Ares!

XENA (screeching to a halt):
     Where, where?

GABRIELLE:
     Xena, I hate to interrupt, but we were supposed to be going to the city.

Xena gives an exasperated sigh, and she and Gabrielle ride off together.

CUT TO

A road. Gabrielle and Xena are riding alongside each other. Xena seems far away.

XENA:
     Where is he?

GABRIELLE:
     Thrace, Britannia, Athens, Sparta, Olympus, another planet--who knows? (she looks at Xena) Who cares?

XENA:
     I do!

GABRIELLE:
     Why?

XENA:
     He's, he's, he's--

GABRIELLE:
     Bless you.

XENA:
     After all, he saved us. I mean he gave up everything for us. (dreamily) And besides, he's so tall, so gorgeous, so sexy, so charming, so funny...

GABRIELLE:
     You forgot cunning, manipulative, murderous...

XENA (curtly):
     Well, that's just part of his job!

GABRIELLE (genuinely bewildered):
     Xena, I know you've always had a soft spot for Ares but this is... (she shakes her head) What's going on?

XENA (glares at her):
     What do you mean, I've always had a soft spot for Ares? (her face and voice turn dreamy again) You know, I just love the way his eyes turn all soft and misty with desire when he leans down to kiss you...hell, I love it that he has to lean down! You have no idea what it's like to have that hard, strong body pressed against you...

GABRIELLE (mutters under her breath):
     Thank the heavens I don't.

XENA:
     ...and he has such a beautiful mouth--and I love the way his voice drops down like that and sends shivers down your spine--

She stops dead, suddenly realizing that she's said way, waaaay too much. Gabrielle is looking at her like she's running a fever.

XENA (weakly):
     Well, it's true.

GABRIELLE:
     If you say so. You do, ah, know him better than I do. (under her breath) Obviously.

XENA (glares at her):
     The city's just over this rise.

CUT TO

Long shot of the capital city of Lycia. It's desolate, in even worse shape than it was during the Chimaera's siege. The camera pans around to pick up the women as they urge their horses into a gallop down the slopes toward the town.

CUT TO

The city's main street. We ride with Xena and Gabrielle as they move toward the palace, examining the mess. Only a few shops are still open, no repairs have been made, women and children beg on the streets.

GABRIELLE:
     This is bad. It wasn't this bad before.

XENA:
     It looks like Iobatas hasn't kept his promise. I was hoping that peddler was wrong.

They come to the palace and tie their horses, then climb the steps. There are guards who seem as though they're about to do or say something unfortunate, but Xena gives them her trademark steely glare and they let her through without a fuss. She and Gabrielle move quickly down a marble hall and into the throne room. The king is seated slumped on the throne, his head in his hand. He looks up warily when the two walk in. Then his face changes and he smiles as he recognizes his visitors.

IOBATAS:
     Xena! And Gabrielle, Slayer of the Chimaera! Welcome back, it's good to see you.

XENA:
     King Iobatas.

GABRIELLE:
     Your Majesty.

XENA:
     I'll get straight to the point. When we left last time, you gave me your word you were going to distribute the city's treasury to those who had lost everything. Now Gabrielle and I have been looking real hard and we're not seeing anything of the sort. Are you going to tell us why that is, or do we have to--take matters into our own hands?

IOBATAS:
     Just who do you think you are to talk to me--

GABRIELLE:
     We're the people who saved your sorry butt and your sorry kingdom, remember? We're the ones who did it without charging anything for it, remember? And you said you'd help your people by making the money available to them that you saved on us--

XENA (pleasant threat):
     Remember?

IOBATAS:
     Ah, yes, yes.

XENA:
     All coming back to you now, is it?

Iobatas looks wretched and miserable, and Xena relents.

XENA:
     What is it, Iobatas? What's wrong?

IOBATAS:
     You're right, I haven't given away the money. But I need it, Xena, the kingdom is in danger again.

XENA:
     Go on.

IOBATAS:
     No! There isn't anything you can do, not this time.

GABRIELLE:
     We won't know until you tell us what the problem is, will we?

IOBATAS:
     I...can't.

XENA (flatly):
     You mean you won't.

IOBATAS:
     Have it your way. But just trust me, Xena, I need that money to save the kingdom. And I have to be the one to do it. I must ask you to trust me.

Xena and Gabrielle exchange a glance, plainly doubtful of anything this man says.

XENA:
     I trusted you to help your people last time, and--what can I say--you've let me down. Not to mention your people. This time, we're going to make sure you get it right.

GABRIELLE:
     We'll be here for a few days. You know you can count on us to help.

IOBATAS:
     Yes. Thank you. Good morning.

It's a dismissal and he is a king. They leave, puzzled.

CUT TO

Xena and Gabrielle are seated in an inn. It's packed but the patrons are quiet, sullen and resentful. There are mutterings about Iobatas and his stinginess.

XENA:
     This is worse than I thought. If these people realize how many of them feel the same way--

GABRIELLE (finishes Xena's sentence):
     Iobatas could have a revolt on his hands.

Xena nods. Suddenly her face lights up with a smile.

XENA:
     Ares!

Gabrielle drops her face into her hands and groans.

GABRIELLE:
     Not again!

XENA:
     Don't be so negative. We need his help.

GABRIELLE (under her breath):
     Well, one of us definitely needs help.

XENA:
     Go with me here, Gabrielle. We have to find out why Iobatas is hoarding the money.

GABRIELLE (slowly):
     Yes...

XENA:
     And we need to do it quickly, before a riot breaks out.

GABRIELLE ("where is this going"):
     Yes...

XENA (perfectly logical conclusion):
     And so, we need Ares!

Gabrielle drops her face into her hands and groans.

GABRIELLE:
     Why?!

XENA:
     Don't you see? Ares is a god! We can ask him to--

GABRIELLE:
     Wait, wait, stop right there. You're not seriously thinking of asking Ares for help?! Xena, you'd owe a favor to the God of War!

XENA ("oh I hope so!"):
     Yes. I would.

GABRIELLE:
     Oh, I get it. This isn't about Iobatas' problem, is it? No, it's about getting Ares here so you can see him again!

XENA:
     You should know better than that!

GABRIELLE:
     No, no, Xena. You should know better than that.

XENA (frowns):
     Oh. Are you sure?

GABRIELLE (pleading):
     Yes, I'm sure. Can we just...handle this without "tall, gorgeous and sexy"?

XENA:
     You know, Gabrielle, you're not being very supportive...

Gabrielle is near to tears.

XENA (grudging):
     But, okay.

Gabrielle breathes a sigh of relief and the two return to their food.

CUT TO

A room at the inn. It's dirty and run-down, making Xena's farm appear luxurious by comparison. The door opens and Xena and Gabrielle come in.

GABRIELLE:
     This place has gotten a lot worse, hasn't it.

XENA:
     Either that, or our eyesight has gotten much better.

They look around, turn in unison and walk out.

CUT TO

A campsite. Xena and Gabrielle have made another camp nearer the city, close to a stream. The sun is high.

GABRIELLE:
     Looks like an excellent fishing spot.

XENA (distracted):
     Mm-hmmm.... What?

GABRIELLE:
     We could do some fishing. You like fishing, remember?

XENA:
     Oh, you go right ahead.

She shivers and stretches luxuriously. Gabrielle stares at her, then rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

GABRIELLE:
     All right, I'm going to go and gather some firewood. Don't go anywhere, okay?

Gabrielle walks away. Xena sighs and stretches again, then picks up a twig and starts tracing hearts on the ground.

Suddenly, she looks up, her eyes sparkling in anticipation, and licks her lips. A blissful smile lights up her face as the familiar silver-blue light flares up before her, and Ares appears.

ARES:
     Xena...you know, I've been thinking about what happened this morning...

XENA:
     Yes?

ARES:
     I think perhaps I was a bit hasty.

XENA (moves to him and puts her arms around him):
     Oh, you do?

ARES (cautiously):
     I said "I think" I may have been a bit hasty.

XENA (runs one hand up his arm and rubs his back with the other):
     What do you think now?

ARES (doesn't believe what's happening):
     You're up to something.

XENA (huskily):
     Let me show you just what I'm up to...

She slides her hand to the back of his head, pulls his mouth to hers, and kisses him passionately. He responds with equal fervor. Then he opens his eyes, and suddenly notices the little hearts Xena has traced on the ground.

ARES (stops and pulls away):
     Wh-wh--wait a minute.

XENA (pouncing):
     We've waited long enough!

Startled, Ares vanishes. Xena gasps with dismay and hurt. A second later he's back.

ARES (grinning widely):
     What was I thinking?

He takes her in his arms and kisses her as if he'll never stop. He pulls her close, holding her tightly against him. She responds and wraps her arms around his waist. Oblivious to everything but their mutual hunger, they sink to the ground as we:

FADE OUT

END OF ACT ONE