TEASER

FADE IN

Heaven. An airy white room with a round wooden table in the center. Three archangels, Michael, Raphael and Uriel, are seated around it in carved high-backed chairs. Michael and Raphael are clearly in the middle of an argument; Uriel is placidly filing his nails, ignoring them.

MICHAEL:
     Now's not a good time to get cold feet, Raphael. Olympus will fall within the year; trust me.

RAPHAEL:
     That is far too long. (frowns) These plans of yours are too complicated.

MICHAEL (calmly):
     Nothing worth doing is ever simple.

URIEL (without looking up from his nails):
     In my experience, the simple are definitely worth doing. They don't make a scene when they notice the wings. (folds and unfolds his perfectly trimmed bluish-black iridescent wings)

RAPHAEL (scandalized):
     Lust is a deadly sin. Be wary, Uriel. You don't want to follow in Lucifer's footsteps.

URIEL (shrugs):
     The position of Ruler of Hell does have its attractions. But sentimental fool that I am, I prefer to remain in our Lord's favor. And He does love Michael so. (looks up at Michael) I'm afraid our dear Raphael is outnumbered. (to Raphael) I'm with Michael on this one. You have to admit, his plans do have a remarkable success rate.

MICHAEL:
     You flatter me. The planning has been mine, true--but so far, the doing has been Xena's. The honor belongs to the Warrior Princess.

RAPHAEL (sourly):
     You blackmailed her into serving our Lord! Using her maternal feelings to deliver Olympian power into His hands can hardly be called honorable.

Uriel rolls his eyes; obviously this isn't the first time Raphael has raised this objection. Michael makes a dismissive gesture.

MICHAEL:
     Olympus would have fallen anyway. You know the time of the ancient gods is past. All we did was direct the fall to our Lord's advantage.

URIEL:
     Didn't hurt us, either.

He returns to filing his nails. Raphael pushes his chair back, gets up and starts pacing.

RAPHAEL (pacing):
     Our cause is just. The power that had been so badly misused by the Olympian gods should belong to our Lord. But why go about it in such an underhanded way? Surely if we had only been honest with the Warrior Princess, she would have gladly aided us. We would not have needed to give her a child...

URIEL:
     True, that part could have been more fun. Like I always say, immaculate conception misses the whole point.

Michael comes up behind Raphael and puts his hands over Raphael's shoulders. Close-up of Raphael's worried face as Michael talks.

MICHAEL (almost gently):
     Don't be naive, Raphael. This is the same woman who restored Ares and Aphrodite to Olympus, drawing on the power of the Norse gods. Do you honestly think she would have ended the reign of Olympus if she had not had, shall we say, a little...encouragement?

RAPHAEL:
     Safeguarding the daughter we gave her. Blackmail.

MICHAEL:
     The Olympians did have their rare flashes of insight. What was it Athena once said?

RAPHAEL (whispers):
     The most dangerous animal on Earth...is a mother protecting her young.

MICHAEL:
     Very good! And quite true. Little Eve was excellent encouragement for Xena to co-operate.

Michael releases Raphael's shoulders and returns to his seat, his manner businesslike. A moment later, Raphael follows.

MICHAEL:
     So. We are very close to our goal. The power of the Olympians belongs to our Lord...

URIEL (waving his nail file in a wide arc):
     With a few notable exceptions: Apollo, Hestia, Dionysus...

MICHAEL (claps his hands on the tabletop):
     Exactly my point! Those exceptions must go--it's time we finalized our dealings with Olympus and moved on. Xena has served us well, but she was always too stubborn. Her daughter's devotion is far more to my taste. Eve will be perfect--

RAPHAEL:
     No!! No, you promised! You said Eve was just insurance; just to make sure Xena completes her task!

MICHAEL:
     And has she completed it?

Raphael is silent.

MICHAEL (satisfied):
     Let's not lose sight of the objective, shall we? Xena is too much trouble. Eve will serve us better than her mother before her--and of her own free will. (to Raphael) That will please you, won't it?

RAPHAEL (reluctantly):
     Yes.

URIEL (eagerly):
     Are you planning to give her a bundle of joy, too? I'd be happy to volunteer my services.

Raphael cringes.

MICHAEL:
     That won't be necessary. There are still a few Olympians clinging to power that should by rights have been our Lord's a long time ago. Apollo, Hestia--not many, but enough to try the girl. Then, she can move on.

URIEL:
     Valhalla, India, the Nile delta--so many gods, so little time. (dreamy look) Egypt. Xena did say they're in need of a girl with a chakram.

He makes a chopping motion at his neck; he and Michael laugh, Raphael remains stone-faced.

RAPHAEL:
     I hardly think this is a joke.

Michael stops laughing abruptly. Uriel continues laughing a second longer, catches himself and goes back to filing his nails.

MICHAEL:
     Of course not, it's a serious matter. Our tools must be sharp and ready. (decisively) We need to test Eve's mettle before we proceed.

RAPHAEL:
     Eve has done enough for us. Can't we just...let her be? There must be another way.

Michael looks at him until Raphael drops his eyes.

MICHAEL (pleasantly):
     I recall another archangel who lost his share of our Lord's reward because he would not see the wisdom of my plan.

URIEL (jeering):
     Be wary, Raphael. You don't want to follow in Lucifer's footsteps.

Raphael blanches.

MICHAEL:
     Do not doubt me, Raphael.

RAPHAEL (quietly):
     I don't.

MICHAEL (heartily):
     Excellent! Then we're all in agreement.

He looks at Uriel, who grins and shrugs, then at Raphael. Raphael slowly nods.

MICHAEL:
     When Eve proves her worth, the power to kill gods will be hers.

URIEL (admiring his finished manicure):
     Any particular tests you have in mind?

MICHAEL (smiling):
     I know one that will be perfect.

The three archangels rise from the table, open their wings and disappear in white light as we:

FADE OUT

END OF TEASER