7.04 Five In the Bed and the Little One Said...



A small army comes riding over the hill and stops to look at the small farmhouse up ahead. The light from the sun is fading fast and it casts shadows along the green slopes that surround the little cottage. Brilliant pinks and oranges dance across the sky. The trees sway gently in the afternoon breeze as animals munch on grass.

HEAD THUG (grins):
     That will do nicely, boys. Might even get a nice meal if the lady of the house is in.

THUG #1:
     Like Mamma used to make?

HEAD THUG (whispers):
     Shut up man, you'll make me home sick.

THUG #1:
     Sorry, Adberus.

The other thugs look at each other strangely and to their Commander before they begin to ride down to the house. A dark figure gasps as it sees the band of men coming.

Camera close up to show Greba's shocked face. She looks left and right and then runs into the bushes.


The men arrive at the house and get off their horses. One of the thugs lights a torch and throws it at the barn causing it to catch fire.

ADBERUS (hits thug who torched the barn over the head):
     We're here to stay the night, not cause a forest fire.

Other men laugh and Greba looks on from the bushes. She quietly sneaks away.

We see Greba running as fast as she can straight to Ares' old farm. Pan back to see a wide shot of the farm. She goes inside and locks the door. Close up of Greba on the floor shaking.


Ares and Aphrodite are standing around on Olympus having a heated conversation. Hestia, one of the Olympians who survived, is dusting in the background.

     I see myself converting to Eli's religion sooner, Sis.

APHRODITE (rolls her eyes):
     You are so stubborn. You just can't do it or are you scared? (smiles, she knows she has him now)

     Me scared? (raises voice) Never! I just don't want to relive that all over again. My mortal days were spent with chickens; yours were with a crazy Roman Emperor. I think you got the better deal.

     He sucked my godhood from me!

ARES (mockingly):
     Ooh, sounds kinky. Well, you got over it. I think I'm scarred for all of my eternal life. (starts muttering to himself) Chickens, pigs, cows! (yelling now) Damn those chickens!

     Yo Bro, take a chill pill. You did get to sleep in the same bed as Xena.

     And the annoying blonde can't keep her hands to herself.

APHRODITE (grins evilly):
     Did she get a little too close for comfort, Ar?

ARES (snaps out of his trance):
     I know what you are doing; you're trying to distract me so I'll say yes. Well fine little sister dear I'll do it.

APHRODITE (claps her hands together):
     I knew you'd come through, Bro...

     If you do.


Ares looking at Aphrodite

ARES (circles his sister in a predatory manner):
     You heard me. I'll stay a whole day and night at that repulsive farm without using my powers--if you do too.

     You have got to be kidding me.

     You dared me; I'm daring you back.

APHRODITE (throws a dirty look at her brother):
     Deal. (sighs in defeat) Remind me, how exactly did we get into this again?

     Spring cleaning.

     Oh yes. (rolls her eyes) Aunt Hestia just had to start fumigating the place.

     Hey, there are a lot of other places to hang out. I was all ready to go find some nice battlefield. You came up with the farm idea. (smirks) Hey Horace, looks like we're going on vacation.

The now immortal Horace comes out from behind a pillar and barks happily as we: