7.04 Five In the Bed and the Little One Said...


ACT TWO

FADE IN

Xena and Gabrielle are seated in front of the fire. Aphrodite is daintily sitting on an old chair, Ares is still standing and Greba is still firmly attached to his side. Xena keeps on glancing at Greba; this is noticed by Aphrodite who is smiling like a maniac.

Gabrielle questioning them

GABRIELLE:
     What is this, the meet and greet party?

ARES (close up of Ares' face):
     Look, Blondie, if I'd known you were going to be here I wouldn't be here.

XENA:
     What are you doing here?

ARES (sarcastic):
     I'm on my yearly vacation and decided to have it here. (rolls eyes)

XENA (innocent look):
     I thought you usually went to the Amazon Lands for that?

ARES (sarcastic look):
     I wanted a change of scenery.

APHRODITE:
     Ahem, (no one takes notice) ahem. (still no one pays attention) Oh for Gaia's sake, ahem!

Xena, Ares, Gabrielle and Greba turn to the frustrated Goddess.

APHRODITE:
     Now that I have everyone's attention, and I better keep it (pointed look at Xena and Ares), we have a few matters to discuss.

GABRIELLE (takes over):
     Yeah, what are you guys really doing here?

ARES:
     We're on vac--

GABRIELLE (cuts Ares off):
     The truth.

XENA:
     Yes, Ares, the truth.

GREBA:
     Ares? Ares? Who is she talking to, Aresis?

XENA:
     And I thought Mavican was stupid. (turns to Greba) He Ares, you Greba.

ARES (mumbles):
     Channeling Joxer for a moment, are we?

GREBA:
     No, he Aresis, and that (points to Aphrodite) is his sister Aphie.

XENA (groans):
     This is going to be a long night.

CUT TO

Ten Minutes later.

XENA:
     One more time, he is not Aresis, his name is Ares and he is the God of War. That (points at Aphrodite) is his sister, Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love.

GREBA:
     Huh?

ARES:
     I'd give up if I were you.

GREBA (silent for a moment, gets a look of clarity):
     The God of War and Goddess of Love?

Greba looks at Ares then to Aphrodite, she then promptly passes out.

APHRODITE:
     That went well.

GABRIELLE:
     Should we move her?

Xena, Ares, Gabrielle and Aphrodite look down at Greba who is peacefully passed out on the floor.

XENA:
     Nah...she looks happy where she is.

GABRIELLE:
     I hope she didn't hit her head too hard.

ARES:
     Not that it would make a whole lot of difference.

GABRIELLE:
     Back to why you two are here.

APHRODITE:
     I bet Ares that he couldn't stay a night and day here without using his powers.

XENA (confused look):
     So why are you here? (looks at Aphrodite)

ARES:
     I dared her back.

APHRODITE:
     I know it's supposed to be no powers but, Bro, I have to do this.

ARES:
     What?

A blinding pink light fills the room, as it dies down (close up of Xena and Gabrielle) Gabrielle and Xena are left in new outfits. Xena is wearing tight black pants with a Salmoneus' Secret bra. Gabrielle is wearing the same style as Aphrodite. Her outfit is baby blue with darker blue spots and instead of shorts she has on 3/4 pants.

XENA (smirks at Gabrielle):
     You two match.

Gabrielle looks at Aphrodite's outfit and the variation of her own. Ares eyes Xena appreciatively before he realizes there is something missing: his vest.

Ares' vest is gone

ARES:
     Um, Little Sister deary, you seem to have misplaced my vest.

APHRODITE:
     Oops. (smiles innocently)

Ares growls and goes for his sister. Xena stops him mid step and places her hand on his chest. Aphrodite and Gabrielle both raise an eyebrow at this.

XENA:
     You want to win this, don't you?

ARES (looks at Xena with confused eyes):
     Yeah, so?

XENA:
     She's going to have to be in one piece if you want to win.

ARES:
     Why are you helping me?

XENA (looks down at herself):
     This isn't my color.

Greba regains consciousness in time to see Xena and Ares chatting. She gets a look of determination.

GREBA (thinking):
     Get your skanky little hands off him! I'm the widow, they want to violate me not you. I need him. (out loud) My head. (shakes her head for a moment) So who's gonna be big and strong and get rid of the bad men in my house? (bats her eyelashes at Ares)

ARES:
     Xena will do it.

GREBA:
     What?

XENA:
     In the morning though. I'm tired, good night. (starts in the direction of the bedroom)

APHRODITE:
     What about sleeping arrangements?

ARES:
     I'm wherever Xena is.

GABRIELLE:
     Gee what a surprise.

CUT TO

The sky is misty and clouds are rolling over a never-ending horizon. The land is bare with the exception of a small farm. A tiny house can be seen with light radiating from its windows. Smoke puffs out of the chimney. Camera moves forward towards the house and focuses on the barn for a moment before moving towards it.

CUT TO

Inside the barn hay is pilled up to the ceiling and two horses stand tied up to a pole.

ARGO (neighs; on-screen translation):
     Oh how I miss mother. She used to tell me wonderful stories when it was raining.

GAB'S HORSE (neighs; on-screen translation):
     Neigh.

Argo reminiscing

ARGO (neighs irritably; on-screen translation):
     Keep it down over there, I'm reminiscing.

FADE OUT

END OF ACT TWO